FOOD

Yesterday I went to the library. Look what I brought home with me.



I am thinking about food TOO much! I think it's getting worse. Today, I actually seriously thought about tasting some food.

"One bite won't matter."
"I don't have to let anyone know"
"Other people online have taken a few bites of stuff, I can too"

But- fear not. I have not had one bite of food for almost a week.

While driving in the car today, Daphne's Graham crackers were sitting in the passenger seat. Just staring at me. I wanted to eat one so bad.

And (I'm such a good wife/mom) tonight I made John and Daphne homemade pizza for dinner. That was TOUGH. I did smell a piece at length to try and imagine how it would taste.

I am fantasizing about what my first meal will be when I'm done too.

And I think all this thinking about food is making me gain weight. I weighed myself this morning and discovered that I gained 3 pounds back. ??? How is that even possible? I decided that I won't weigh myself until I'm done. It's silly though. This is about more than weight.

Anyway- I am SO glad that tomorrow marks the half way point. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.



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Day 3

So, this is pretty easy. I really don't mind that I'm not eating- other than the fact that food tastes AWESOME and I miss tasting it. The one thing that may prove to be difficult/sad, John and I are taking his sister out for dinner tonight for her birthday. And I'm going to sit there. Not eating anything. I'll probably pack a lemonade drink for myself. Hopefully we go somewhere with nasty food.

I am definitely thinning up as a result of this cleanse. 6.5 pounds down so far. My belly is REALLY flat... and so is my chest :( Big downside, but it looks proportionate with my body so I'm really not all that concerned.

Oh- and I have to get lemons like EVERYDAY. Annoying. Oh well. I wish lemons were cheaper. Or that I had a lemon tree.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Make the worst lemonade you've ever tasted!

This stuff should NOT be called lemonade though. That is very deceiving. Lemonade is sweet and makes you want to savor the taste until every last drop is gone. THIS stuff is honestly the worst drink I've ever had. And that reddish hue? That's the cayenne pepper. YUCK. Why? Why cayenne pepper? This cleanse would be a whole lot easier if the stuff I'm supposed to drink tasted a bit better. That also goes for the laxative tea. That is the worst tea I've ever had.

Here's what I've learned thus far:

• I am not a huge fan of cayenne pepper.
• I do not like grade B maple syrup. And again- Why grade B? Why not grade A? I have no idea. Grade B tastes very molassesy. I don't like molasses.
• It works very well to drink the lemonade every two hours to supply myself with consistent energy.
• I have a surprising amount of energy.

Today I weighed in 6 pounds lighter than when I started.

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First Day of The Cleanse

So, the easing in process proved to be very beneficial. My mind and stomach were very prepared to not eat any food today. I woke up today feeling VERY refreshed, trim, and light. I weighed in and discovered that I have lost 4 pounds.

I proceeded to make coffee and breakfast for John and Daphne, but quickly noticed that the laxative tea was kicking in. AND QUICK! I drank some last night, and will continue to do it every night until the cleanse is finished. So, as a result of the fast acting laxative, I was unable to make breakfast.

I made my first glass of the lemonade for breakfast. It was SPICY! I didn't think the cayenne pepper would have that much of an effect on the taste. And the grade B syrup is very rich tasting. I drank the first glass quickly, and felt no signs of hunger for hours after that. I ended up drinking another glass around 10:30, before taking off to the park so Daphne and I could have a picnic with John. I packed myself another glass of lemonade and drank it around 12:30 while John chomped on some home made grilled stuffed burritos I made for him.

John went back to work and Daphne and I hung around the park until 1:30, when I started to feel like I needed to get home to have some ice water.

I had my fourth glass just 20 minutes ago. Aside from a very slight headache, I feel totally fine.

I am disappointed in the taste of the lemonade though. If I were to give up early, it would be because of the taste of the lemonade not being very good- not because I needed to eat food.

I was telling a friend of mine yesterday about a cleanse that I was about to do. I described it to her and she replied with "oh, the crack juice diet?" I was confused, and she went on to say that it's sometimes referred to as that because of the energy you have while having no desire to eat. I have to say, this is so true. I have a good amount of energy, and really am fine without eating.

Anyway, I must get out and fertilize my garden. Part of me is now thinking that the timing of this diet wasn't very good. I have SO much fresh cilantro just waiting to be eaten! I think it'll hold over til next weekend though.

Last day of easing in!

Ok- so tomorrow I officially start "The Master Cleanse"! I think I'm really prepared for it. Today, I am just drinking fresh squeezed orange juice. Man, fresh squeezed orange juice is SO GOOD! I don't think I can drink orange juice from the frozen concentrate ever again.

So, I had previously read online that day 2 of the ease in process is supposed to be the hardest. For me, it was day 1. Yesterday was pretty easy. I nearly drank both bottles of V8. I'm also drinking A LOT of mint tea. That is supposed to help with the appetite, and it's herbal, so I can drink that. But today, day 3 of easing in, is EASY. I think that tomorrow will be a piece of cake. Mmmmm cake....

Today I was pretty excited to FINALLY find the Grade B maple syrup AND laxative tea that is needed for the cleanse. I found a 12 ounce Grade B maple syrup at Trader Joes. I then went to Whole Foods and found that they carried the syrup and the tea. If I run out of this syrup (which I probably will) I can get more at either store.

How I'm feeling today: I'm feeling really good. Not as bad as I thought I would feel. I am usually VERY dependent on food, and if I don't eat very regularly I get dizzy and famished very quickly. I'm surprised at how well I'm doing for not eating any food. My stomach feels TINY! I'm loving that. I am urinating very frequently, probably because I'm drinking so much water. One not so good thing- my mouth constantly tastes like I have bad breath and I feel like I need to brush my teeth all the time. Aside from that, I've been using diaphragmatic breathing and calming thoughts to get through any other physical side effects I may be feeling. I am also going to attempt to do yoga today.

I am thinking about food all the time though. I hope to get passed that. It's been especially hard because I have to feed Daphne like 5 times a day. There have been several times where I noticed that I would have picked at, or finished, Daphne's food if I weren't on this cleanse. Imagine how many extra calories that is giving me, and I'm not even thinking about it. There have been several times where I had to throw out Daphne's left overs, and I just sat there and thought a long time about that. Also, I took her to the movies yesterday and bought her a popcorn. MAN I WANTED THAT POPCORN SO BAD!

Well. Today has been good. I'm eased in. I'm ready for.... THE CLEANSE.

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So Far So Good

So, I'm on day 2 of the ease in process. But first, I wanted to document a couple pictures from my trip to LA on Thursday. I didn't take many because I spent approximately 3 hours using public transportation to get myself from Long Beach Airport to CBS studios in Hollywood. I used my maps app on my phone, and had it on the entire time because I was completely paranoid that I might go the wrong way or miss a stop. First, I walked out of the airport to a bus stop. I got there JUST IN TIME! The bus took me to the metro. I took one line straight up to LA, where I passed through Compton. It might have just been in my head, but I was FREAKED out the entire time. I clutched onto my bag (I just had a carryon with me) and cell phone for dear life. I then switched from one metro line to another that took me closer to Hollywood where I then rode another bus to CBS studios. By the time I got there, there was only 20% battery left on my phone.

Anyway, after I met up with my friend Janee and some of her friends, we proceeded to wait in line for about 3-4 hours. It wasn't that bad. I got some sun, didn't get sunburned, and just relished the fact that I was on this spontaneous trip to LA. We FINALLY made it inside and were able to watch a live taping of SYTYCD. I sat right behind the judges table, and I think a couple times I am shown on camera. I was able to see Neil Patrick Harris and Snoop Dogg in the flesh, so that was exciting.

In front of the studio.

After that we freshened up and headed out to Santa Monica Pier.

There was some big concert going on, with a bunch of Australian bands playing. It looked like a lot of fun, but-

We had more important things to accomplish.

I drank 3 of these. That turned out to be a mistake.

So I thought I would document what it was that I ate yesterday. For breakfast I had a bowl of fruit salad (orange, peach, blueberries). It was very good, and I ate the whole thing. And I felt very satisfied.

For lunch I attempted to make a salad without dressing. I accidentally forgot to take a picture until I was half way done eating it. It was just alright. It was hard to eat a salad without dressing. I felt like a rabbit or something comping down on veggies. The green beans and lettuce are from my garden though! :)

In between lunch and dinner, I did an hour of yoga and then had a baked potato with salt and pepper. That was SO delicious. While I was eating it, my cat rushed inside with a hummingbird in her mouth. She sat it right next to me, and then mowed and purred for like 20 minutes.

She sat next to it, seeming so proud of herself.

Dinner was a little more exciting than my lunch. I came up with this idea to make Mexican veggie tacos. I mixed up some fresh corn cut off the cob, a roma tomato, red onion, cilantro, lemon juice, and salt.

And put it in a lettuce leaf like a taco. It started out tasting SO good. And then I noticed that the tomato tasted a little funny. Serves me right- getting a tomato from Winco. I ended up not eating all of it... about half.

After dinner I was feeling not very good. I could tell that I needed some protein and carbs. I ended up eating a whole orange about an hour or so later and drinking lots of water. I think it was just the fact that by the end of the day my body was definitely lacking the proper energy. I'm pretty sure that I consumed less than 1,000 calories yesterday.

After I went to lay down, I started to feel better. I watched the Bachelorette on hulu and went to sleep around 10:30. I woke up around 8:30 feeling very refreshed. I feel great right now. I ended up weighing myself this morning just to see if I had lost anything, and I have already lost 2 pounds. Like I said, I'm not trying to lose a bunch of weight. A couple pounds would be nice though.

So today is supposed to be just juice. I felt a little confused as to how to accomplish this, so I just bought some V8. I calculated the calories, and if need be, I can drink both of these bottles and not go over 1,200 calories.

Here's to day 2!

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Gaining Clarity

Food is at the center of life. We need food, nourishment, and energy constantly throughout the day. Often times I find myself burdened by the fact that I have to feed my body again. It's such a pain in the ass! I have to decide what I want to eat, then decide if it's healthy enough, AND THEN prepare it, and then I finally have to eat it. Sometimes, I'd rather just not think about it. Or even better, just not have to eat at all. I attempt to eat healthy the majority of the time. I always have. But lots of times I just eat what's easy and/or cheap out of laziness. Like today- I had a pb&j sandwich (because that's what Daphne was having) and leftover potatoes from last night. How many calories did I even consume out of that meal? I have no idea. I don't like to think about it!!! As I spend my days at home this summer, I have found myself doing stuff like today too much. And it's depressing me. It has caused me to reflect on food and how I want to nourish my body.

I have also been reflecting on how my body has been functioning lately. Not so good, really. I have had lots of issues pop up recently... and they are really starting to wear on me: insomnia, severe allergies, acne, anxiety, foggy brain, lack of energy... I think that's it. Well you know what- I AM SICK OF IT! I have been thinking about all these things a lot lately... they have all just been swimming through my brain ("food. anxiety. allergies. I feel like crap. I feel bloated. I can't sleep. I feel like I need to flush out my system... I need a CLEANSE!) And that's when I started to really think about dedicating some time to cleanse my body. I have researched a few different cleanses and I came upon The Master Cleanse.

I know. It's crazy. It's absolutely insane. Ever since I came upon this, I have been absolutely hooked into researching how I can do it. I am both completely intimidated and in complete awe. It's very overwhelming. I am going to attempt to go 10 days without food. This is not something that can be done willy nilly at the spur of the moment. It taking lots of research and planning. One of the most detailed oriented parts, is the ease in and out phase. Here's how it's going to break down:

Day 1: The Living Food diet. Practically a vegan diet, with a huge emphasis on not eating processed foods.

Day 2: Like day one, but in liquid form.

Day 3: Nothing but orange juice and water.

Days 4-13: The Master Cleanse (Consuming only the lemonade drink, water, doing the salt water flush and/or tea)

Day 14: Orange juice and water

Day 15: Liquid Living Food diet.

Day 16: Living Food Diet

Day 17 and beyond: .... Still undecided. I DO NOT want to go back to the way I have been eating. I want to put more thought into what I am putting into my body. This is actually something I'm waiting until after the cleanse to decide, because I anticipate this cleanse to not be only a body cleanse, but a mental and spiritual cleanse. I hope to gain mental clarity and become more connected to knowing how to nourish my body.

I'm actually leaning towards being MOSTLY vegan.

I know. You're thinking "Mostly?" Me too. Here's the deal- I have a few hang ups that are keeping me from becoming vegan.

1. MEAT IS SO GOOD! Hamburgers are my second favorite food. And they are even better if they have bacon on it.

2. I love dairy products. Cheeseburgers are my first favorite food. I have a hard time if I go a whole week without buying a gallon of Tillamook icecream. I don't eat the whole thing... I just like to have 1 or 2 small bowls of it. It's seriously one of my most simple/guilty pleasures I have.

2a. Half and half in my coffee. I have been able to give up putting sugar in it and frilly coffees with tons of calories. A month or two ago I actually bought a carton of soy creamer to test out. It was barely doable. I LOVE MY HALF AND HALF.

3. I love eggs. And pastries that are made with eggs. It depresses me a little just thinking of not partaking in a real pastry ever again. AND- John and I have plans to build a chicken coop in our backyard.

So, there you have it. Man, I think I just convinced myself to not be vegan after all.

CONTEMPLATING: being mostly vegan. Allowing myself to consume the above mentioned items on a very strict basis. Allowing myself to consume eggs (and possibly other animal products in the future) that I produce and know that they came from a health environment. And to count calories more strictly.

Apparently lots of people can't go the whole 10 days without food. I really really really want to go the whole 10 days. I am planning on using meditation and rest if I feel weary, weak, or any other physical symptoms, that might make me cave in and eat food.

And- I am going to try and blog everyday about it. About what I am going through. That should be fun. I even moved my laptop in a more accessible spot so that I can blog more easily.

I plan on starting this Saturday, which will give me 16 uninterrupted days where I'm not traveling or going to any social gatherings with food. Wish me luck!

Summer Update

I need to blog on here more often, so that not every one of my posts needs to have a huge update to preface anything that's going on!

I know! I'll just do my nifty bullet points update...

• School is out for the summer for Daphne and I. I was going to go summer term, but ultimately decided not too. I thought it would be good for Daphne to have a nice summer break before starting kindergarten
• I got straight A's- for the whole academic year at PSU.
• Daphne got into the Chinese Immersion Program that is offered at her kindergarten. She will be learning Mandarin Chinese along side her normal curriculum all the way through elementary school. We're very excited- and I'm a little overwhelmed. But I know everything will work out fantastically.
• We went to family reunion #1 earlier this month. We were able to drive all the way to Utah and back, and got to see a LOT of family and friends
• John's band has played several gigs this summer. I was able to photograph one of them last weekend in downtown Portland. Here are some of my favorite shots-

• The garden is going very well. I am making several batches of pesto, some to eat and some to freeze. We've also been eating lots of peas, lettuce, strawberries, cilantro, chives, and we're just starting to get some green beans. The tomatoes are JUST coming in, which I am very excited about.

So... that's pretty much it. John is working very hard at his law firm, while Daphne and I keep up the home and garden and try to have fun in between. Stay tuned for some more posts!